雅思英語寫作技巧:寫好段落的三個標準
2014-12-25 16:24:08留學(xué)網(wǎng)整理
首先,一個段落必須有一個中心即主題思想,該中心由主題句特別是其中的題旨來表達。整個段落必須緊扣這個主題(stickorholdtothetopic),這就是段落的統(tǒng)一性(unity)。其次,一個段落必須有若干推展句,使主題思想得到充分展開,從而給讀者一個完整的感覺,這就是完整性(completenessoradequateness)。再者,一個段落不是雜亂無章的,而是有機的組合,句子的排列順序必須合乎邏輯,從一個句子到另一個句子的過渡必須流暢(smooth),這就是連貫性(coherence)。下面我們就對這三個標準分別加以說明。
1、統(tǒng)一性
一個段落內(nèi)的各個句子必須從屬于一個中心,任何游離于中心思想之外的句子都是不可取的。請看下例:
JoeandIdecidedtotakethelongtripwe’dalwayswantedacrossthecountry。Wewerelikeyoungkidsbuyingourcamperandstockingitwithallthenecessitiesoflife。Bellabakesthebestrhubarbpie。WestartedoutinearlyspringfromMinneapolisandheadedwestacrossthenorthernpartofthecountry。Webothenjoyedthosepeoplewemetatthetrailerpark。Joereceivedawatchathisretirementdinner。Tooursurprise,wefoundthatwelikedthewarmsouthernregionsverymuch,andsowedecidedtostayhereinNewMexico。
本段的主題句是段首句,controllingidea(中心思想)是takethelongtripacrossthecountry。文中出現(xiàn)兩個irrelevantsentences,一個是Bellabakesthebestrhubarbpie,這一段是講的是JoeandI,中間出現(xiàn)一個Bella是不合適的。還有,Joereceivedawatchathisretirementdinner這一句更是與主題句不相關(guān)。考生在四級統(tǒng)考的作文卷上常常因為造出irrelevantsentences(不相關(guān)語句)而丟分,值得引起注意。再看一個例子:
MynameisRoseanna,andIliketokeepphysicallyfit。Iusedtoweightwohundredpounds,butIjoinedtheYMCAforanexerciseclassanddietprogram。InoneyearIlosteightypounds。Ifeelmuchbetterandneverwanttohavethatmuchweightonmyfive-feetframeagain。Iboughttwonewsuitcaseslastweek。EverydayIpracticejoggingthreemiles,swimmingfifteenlaps,liftingtwenty-poundweightsandplayingtennisforonehour。Mymotherwasaprematurebaby。
本段的controllingidea是liketodeepphysicallyfit,但段中有兩個irrelevantsentences,一個是Iboughttwonewsuitcaseslastweek,另一個是Mymotherwasaprematurebaby。
從上面兩個例子可以看出,nativespeakers同樣會造出來irrelevantsentences。卷面上如果這種句子多了,造成偏題或離題,那問題就更嚴重了。
2、完整性
正象我們前面說得那樣,一個段落的主題思想靠推展句來實現(xiàn),如果只有主題句而沒有推展句來進一步交待和充實,就不能構(gòu)成一個完整的段落。同樣,雖然有推展句,但主題思想沒有得到相對圓滿的交待,給讀者一種意猶未盡的感覺。這樣的段落也不能完成其交際功能。例如:
Physicalworkcanbeausefulformoftherapyforamindinturmoil。Workconcentratesyourthoughtsonaconcretetask。Besides,itismoreusefultowork----youproducesomethingratherthanmoreanxietyordepression。
本段的主題句是段首句。本段的兩個推展句均不能回答主題句中提出的問題。什么是"amindinturmoil"(心境不平靜)Physicalwork又如何能改變這種情況?為什么它能起therapy的作用?讀者得不到明確的答案。
由于四級統(tǒng)考的作文部分只要求寫一篇100~120個詞的三段式短文,每一段只有大約40個詞左右,因此,要達到完整就必須盡可能地簡明。例如:
Itisnotalwaystruethatagoodpictureisworthathousandwords。Oftenwritingismuchclearerthanapicture。Itissometimesdifficulttofigureoutwhatapicturemeans,butacarefulwritercanalmostalwaysexplainit。
段首句所表達的主題思想是一種看法,必須有具體事例加以驗證。上述兩個推展句只是在文字上對主題作些解釋,整個段落內(nèi)容空洞,簡而不明。如果用一兩個具體的例子的話,就可以把主題解釋清楚了。比如下段:
Itisnotalwaystruethatapictureisworthathousandwords。Sometimes,picturesareprettyuselessthings。Ifyoucan’tswimandfallintheriverandstartgulpingwater,willyoubebetteroffto
bsp;holdupapictureofyourselfdrowning,orstartscreaming"Help"?
3、連貫性(coherence)
連貫性包括意連和形連兩個方面,前者指的是內(nèi)在的邏輯性,后者指的是使用轉(zhuǎn)換詞語。當然這兩者常常是不可分割的。只有形連而沒有意連,句子之間就沒有內(nèi)在的有機的聯(lián)系;反之,只有意連而沒有形連,有時行文就不夠流暢。
1)意連
段落中句子的排列應(yīng)遵循一定的次序,不能想到什么就寫什么。如果在下筆之前沒有構(gòu)思,邊寫邊想,寫寫停停,那就寫不出一氣呵成的好文章來。下面介紹幾種常見的排列方式。
A。按時間先后排列(chronologicalarrangement)
Wehadanumberofclosecallsthatday。Whenwerose,itwasobviouslylateandwehadtohurrysoasnottomissbreakfast;weknewthediningroomstaffwasstrictaboutclosingatnineo’clock。Then,whenwehadbeendrivinginthedesertfornearlytwohours-----itmusthavebeenclosetonoon----theheatnearlyhidusin;theradiatorboiledoverandwehadtousemostofourdrinkingwatertocoolitdown。Bythetimewereachedthemountain,itwasfouro’clockandwewereexhausted。Here,judgementranoutofusandwestartedthetoughclimbtothesummit,notrealizingthatdarknesscamesuddenlyinthedesert。Sureenough,bysixwewerestrugglingandAndrewverynearlywentdownasteepcliff,draggingMohammedandmealongwithhim。Bynine,whenthewindhowledacrosstheflatledgeofthesummit,weknewasweshiveredtogetherforwarmththatithadnotbeenourluckyday。
本段從"rose"(起床)寫起,然后是吃早餐("nottomissbreakfast","closingatnineo’clock"),然后是"closetonoon",一直寫到這一天結(jié)束("Bynine--")。
B。按位置遠近排列(spatialarrangement)。例如:
Fromadistance,itlookedlikeaskinnytube,butaswegotcloser,wecouldseeitfleshoutbeforeoureyes。Itwastubular,allright,butfatterthanwecouldseefromfaraway。Furthermore,wewerealsoastonishedtonoticethatthebuildingwasreallyintwoparts:apagodasittingontopofatubularone-storystructure。Standingtenfeetaway,wecouldmarvelathowmuchofthepagodawasmadeupofglasswindows。AlmosteverythingunderthewonderfulChineseroofwasmadeofglass,unlikethetubethatitwassittingon,whichonlyhadfour。Inside,thetubewasgloomy,becauseofthelackoflight。Thenasteep,narrowstaircasetookusupinsidethepagodaandthelightchangeddramatically。Allthosewindowsletinafloodofsunshineandwecouldseeoutformilesacrosstheflatland。
本段的寫法是由遠及近,從遠處("fromadistance")寫起,然后"getcloser",再到("tenfeetaway"),最后是"insidethepagoda"……當然,按位置遠近來寫不等于都是由遠及近。根據(jù)需要,也可以由近及遠,由表及里等等。
C。按邏輯關(guān)系排列(logicalarrangement)
a。按重要性順序排列(arrangementinsgroupsofimportance)
Ifyouworkasasodajerker,youwill,ofcourse,notneedmuchskillinexpressingyourselftobeeffective。Ifyouworkonamachine,yourabilitytoexpressyourselfwillbeoflittleimportance。Butassoonasyoumoveonestepupfromthebottom,youreffectivenessdependsonyourabilitytoreachothersthroughthespokenorthewrittenword。Andthefu
rtherawayyourjobisfrommanualwork,thelargertheorganizationofwhichyouareanemployee,themoreimportantitwillbethatyouknowhowtoconveyyourthoughtsinwritingorspeaking。Intheverylargebusinessorganization,whetheritisthegovernment,thelargecorporation,ortheArmy,thisabilitytoexpressoneselfisperhapsthemostimportantofalltheskillsamancanpossess。
這一段談的是表達能力,它的重要性與職業(yè),身份有關(guān),從"notneedmuchskill"或"oflittleimportance"到"moreimportant",最后是"mostimportant"。
b。由一般到特殊排列(general-to-specificarrangement)
Ifareaderislost,itisgenerallybecausethewriterhasnotbeencarefulenoughtokeephimonthepath。Thiscarelessnesscantakeanynumberofforms。Perhapsasentenceissoexcessivelyclutteredthatthereader,hackinghiswaythroughtheverbiage,simplydoesn’tknowwhatitmeans。Perhapsasentencehasbeensoshoddilyconstructedthatthereadercouldreaditinanyofseveralways。Perhapsthewriterhasswitchedtenses,orhasswitchedpronounsinmid-sentence,sothereaderlosestrackofwhentheactiontookplaceorwhoistalking。PerhapssentenceBisnotlogicalsequeltosentenceA----thewriter,inwhoseheadtheconnectionisclear,hasnotbotheredtoprovidethemissinglink。Perhapsthewriterhasusedanimportantwordincorrectlybynottakingthetroubletolookitup。Hemaythinkthat"sanguine"and"sanguinary"meanthesamething,butthedifferenceisabloodybigone。Thereadercanonlyinferwhatthewriteristryingtoimply。
這一段談的是awriter’scarelessness,先給出一個generalstatement作為主題句,然后通過5個"perhaps"加以例證。
c。由特殊到一般排列(specific-to-generalarrangement)
IdonotunderstandwhypeopleconfusemySiamesecat,Prissy,withtheoneIhadseveralyearsago,Henry。Thetwocatsareonlyalikeinbreed。Prissy,aquiet,femininefeline,lovesmedearlybutnotpossessively。Shelikestokeepherdistancefrompeople,exertherindependenceandisneversorudeastobeg,lick,orsniffunceremoniously。Herusualpostureissittingupright,eyesclosed,perfectlystill。Prissyisaverypropercat。Henry,ontheotherhand,lovedmedearlybutpossessively。Hewasmyshadowfrommorningtillnight。Heexpectedmetoconstantlyentertainhim。Henrynevercaredwhosawhimdoanything,whetheritwasdecorousornot,andheusuallyoffendedmyfriendsinsomeway。Thecatmadehimselfquitecomfortable,onthetopofthetelevision,acrossstranger’sfeetorlaps,inbeds,drawers,sacks,closets,ornooks。Thedifferencebetweenthemisimperceptibletostrangers。
本段的主題句是段首句,它僅提出一個問題:為什么兩只貓會被搞混。然后對兩者進行比較,末句才下結(jié)論。
2)形連
行文的邏輯性常常要靠適當?shù)霓D(zhuǎn)換詞語及其他手段來實現(xiàn)。請讀下面這一段文字并找出文中用以承上啟下的詞語:
Walter’sgoalinlifewastobecomeasuccessfulsurgeon。First,though,hehadto
nbsp;getthroughhighschool,soheconcentratedallhiseffortsonhisstudies---inparticular,biology,chemistry,andmath。Becauseheworkedconstantlyonthesesubjects,Walterbecameproficientinthem;however,Walterforgotthatheneededtomasterothersubjectsbesidesthosehehadchosen。Asaresult,duringhisjunioryearofhighschool,WalterfailedbothEnglishandLatin。Consequently,hehadtorepeatthesesubjectsandhewasalmostunabletograduateonschedule。Finally,onJune6,Walterachievedthefirststeptowardrealizinghisgoal。
本文中起承上啟下的詞語有兩種,一種是轉(zhuǎn)換詞語(transitionalwordsorphrases),另一種是起轉(zhuǎn)換作用的其他連接手段(linkingdevices)。前者依次有:first,though,so,inparticular,and,because,however,besides,asaresult,both…and,consequently,and,finally。后者依次是:he,he,his,his,he,these,them,he,those,his,he,these,his。本段有詞匯105個,所使用的轉(zhuǎn)換詞語及其他連接用語共26個詞,約占該段總詞匯量的四分之一。由此可見,掌握好transitions不僅對行文的流暢(smoothness)有益,而且對于學(xué)生在半個小時內(nèi)寫足四級短文所要求的120個詞也是不無好處的。
一個段落里如果沒有transitions也就很難有coherence了。我們看下面一個例子:Speakingandwritingaredifferentinmanyways。Speechdependsonsounds。Writinguseswrittensymbols。Speechdevelopedabout500000yearsago。Writtenlanguageisarecentdevelopment。Itwasinventedonlyaboutsixthousandyearsago。Speechisusuallyinformal。Thewordchoiceofwritingisoftenrelativelyformal。Pronunciationandaccentoftentellwherethespeakerisfrom。Pronunciationandaccentareignoredinwriting。Astandarddictionandspellingsystemprevailsinthewrittenlanguageofmostcountries。Speechreliesongesture,loudness,andriseandfallofthevoice。Writinglacksgesture,loudnessandtheriseandfallofthevoice。Carefulspeakersandwritersareawareofthedifferences。
本段中除了第6句開頭出現(xiàn)一個起過渡作用的"it"之外,沒有使用其他的過渡詞語。這樣,文中出現(xiàn)許多重復(fù)的詞語,全段讀起來也顯得生硬而不自然。如果加上必要的過渡詞語來修飾的話,這一段就成了下面一個流暢連貫的段落:
Speakingandwritingaredifferentinmanyways。Speechdependsonsounds;writing,ontheotherhand,useswrittensymbols。Speechwasdevelopedabout500000yearsago,butwrittenlanguageisarecentdevelopment,inventedonlyaboutsixthousandyearsago。Speechisusuallyinformal,whilethewordchoiceofwriting,bycontrast,isoftenrelativelyformal。Althoughpronunciationandaccentoftentellwherethespeakerisfrom,theyareignoredinwiringbecauseastandarddictionandspellingsystemprevailsinmostcountries。Speechreliesongesture,loudness,andtheriseandfallofthevoice,butwritinglacksthesefeatures。Carefulspeakersandwritersareawareofthedifferences。
4、有損連貫性的幾種情況:
考生在寫作中經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)下面幾種錯誤:
1)不必要的改變時態(tài),比如:
Inthemovie,RobertRedfordwasaspy。Hegoestohisofficewherehefoundeverybodydead。Otherspieswantedtokillhim,sohetakesrefugewithJulieChristie。Atherhouse,hehadwaitedfortheheattodiedown,buttheycomeafterhimanyway。
2)不必要的改變單復(fù)數(shù),比如:
Ever
ybodylooksforsatisfactioninhislife。Theywanttobehappy。Butifheseeksonlypleasureintheshortrun,thepersonwillsoonrunoutofpleasureandlifewillcatchuptohim。Theyneedtopursuethedeeperpleasureofsatisfactioninworkandinrelationships。
3)不必要的改變?nèi)朔Q,比如:
Nowmorethanever,parentsneedtobeintouchwiththeirchildren’sactivitiesbecausemodernlifehasthetendencytocausecleavagesinthefamily。Youneedtoarrangefamilylikeitsothatfamilymemberswilldothingstogetherandknowoneanother。Youneedtogiveupisolatedpleasuresofyourownandrealizethatparentshaveasetofobligationstosponsortogethernessandthereforesponsorknowledge。
因此寫作中,一定要注意時態(tài),人稱以及數(shù)的變化是否正確,要注意保持一致